Chapter 9: "Potty Better"

I managed to take a few more pics at the ceremony....

Crazy kids. -_-






Ahhh, what are we going to do with those little pipsqueaks.....

Graduation also has its advantages, like the mothers bringing tasty cakes to the teacher's lounge...Which we eat. Someone also brought in a box of vitamin C drinks. As one teacher described it, it tastes like diluded cough syrup. I brought one to my last class of the day, to drink while the students were taking their tests. They are all about 13 years old, and their English is okay...not amazing, but they get by. They all looked at it, then me, silent.....then one boy said, "That drink...you potty better."

Well, then. Bottom's up!

Chapter 8: "The Camera God Smites Thee"

So, I was going to post a lot of adorable pictures of my little kindergarteners, those hammy little pipsqueaks, on here today. Some of them are graduating tomorrow, so it's really cute and exciting. I even made some videos of it.

I'm hooking my camera up, lalala, and some old pics are on there. And I'm thinking, hmm, old pictures, waste of space, let's delete from the computer instead of using the camera to delete!!

Never. Delete. From. The. Computer.

Yeah, you can guess what happened. I'm really ticked.

Chapter 7: "I Think There Is Something Wrong with You."

Yesterday I hung out with one of the Korean teachers for the afternoon and evening. Before I left I had washed my hair and, having enough hair for about three people, I tend to shed a lot, especially when I wash it. It doesn't really detract from the volume or girth of my ponytail though.

I was sitting at my friend's computer with her, and we were talking about piercings, and I got up to show her the scar on my back from when I had my back pierced. She looked and said, "Oh!" and pulled a long hair off my shirt. A hair. So what. So I said, "Yeah, I just washed my hair, I shed a lot."

And then she pulled off another, and another, her eyes growing huge. She says, "I think there is something wrong with you!" I completely cracked up at this point; it's a little embarrassing to shed entire wigs on a weekly basis, but I'm not balding by any means, and anyone with really thick (long) hair will appreciate the loss.

I should mention my first exciting adventure with a squatty potty on Friday night. I'd never even seen one in real life, so it was quite a shocker to step into the stall. I was already a bit on edge from having to use a unisex bathroom with a urinal out in the open plus stalls. At least the stalls were labeled women and men. Anyways, when I saw it, I immediately realized my inexperience was going to be a problem.

Suffice it to say I managed, but I am not good at squatting. The other female foreign teachers insist that there need not be any entire removal of pants, but I experimented a bit, and I just don't see how that works. Plus I almost fell over.

Chapter 6: "Yes, I Blow."

Today in one of my younger classes, the kids were learning about fun things like celebrations (it being the New Year over here and all), and using action verbs instead of things like "Yes, I am" or "Yes, I do." The exercise had questions such as, "Do you get presents for your birthday?" The point was to get them to say, "Yes, I get presents" instead of "Yes, I do." They caught on fairly quickly about having to use the action verb, but they didn't always understand that the end of the sentence is also necessary.

Hence the problem we reached with the question, "Do you blow out candles on your cake?"

...

Joanna-Teacher: "That's mostly correct, just write 'out candles' at the end. Please. No, I can't explain why."

Often to my sincere distress, the curriculum includes Engrish as well. Most of the textbooks are pirated copies, so they're all in black and white. In one of the lessons there was a picture of a dog next to a blackboard, and on the blackboard was written, "Bud is in the class." Alas, the 'cl' had not survived the harrowing journey from the original, through the Xerox machine, and onto the copies.

Chapter 5: "Death Is A Laughing Matter"

Today the mother of one of the students died. I don't have this student in my class, so I wasn't familiar with her at all, but the teachers were quite sad, and all the kids in my classes wanted to be the ones to "inform" me.

At the beginning of one of my older classes (maybe 7 years old?), three or four students rushed me, all saying at once, "Teacher! Teacher! Julie's mother is died. She is died!!"

Soberly, I asked, "How did she die?" a couple of times, just to get my question clearly across. They started hitting their guts. Cancer? I thought. Stabbing? Probably not. Then one precocious and well-meaning student was struck with inspiration.

"Teacher!! Teacher!! She BLAH!!!!!!" The girl lept up at me and threw her hands out, just about scared the crackers out of me. Then the girl proceeded to bug her eyes out and clutch her chest and collapse to the floor, face frozen in an expression of horror.

Oh. A heart attack. *fights to keep a straight face*......*is fighting a losing battle*......

"Children," I remained calm and collected. "That is called a 'heart attack' in English. It's a heart attack. And it's very sad."

And this is how English is taught.

Chapter 4: "And the Tables Turned"

Today is Valentine's Day, and the Korean tradition is that girls give boys chocolates and stuff, and the boys give girls stuff back on White Day, which is in March. I got some chocolates today, and....lipstick! Yes, a little boy in my class gave me some Estee Lauder lipstick ^.^ It's kind of my color!

My mother, who reads this blog, will probably appreciate the irony here. My mother sells Mary Kay, and during my school years, I often gave my teachers makeup instead of the normal chocolates or candy or gift certificates. While makeup is lovely, I wasn't terribly comfortable with this arrangement. I'm amused; I am the teacher now, and now I'm getting makeup from kids.

Plus it's a competing brand to Mary Kay. I may wear it just to watch you get your knickers in a knot, Mom ;-)

Chapter 3: "Stupid Pills Taste Good with Paint Chips"

I swear, I don't think I can do a thing right so far. It's like teaching is a break, and the hard part comes when it's time to switch classes. I write everything down, because I don't remember any of it, but every time I have to ask a question I feel like someone has already told me the answer.

There are some kids who are really smart and work super-fast, and then I feel bad for holding them back when they just want to work ahead. But it is a kindergarten book, anyways. The teacher offered to give the kids the Stick if I had a problem, but I think I will probably have to really want revenge on a child before I'd voluntarily put them up for that ;_;

On the bright side, today I successfully ordered take-out in Korean. I was feeling very daring, but it wasn't difficult at all, turns out. This is what I ordered:

This is pickled radish, kimchi,
and...some sort of seaweed/lettuce
dish. Dunno, sometimes you just can't
tell with these things.

This is Bi Bim Bop. It's delicious.
It has a fried egg, and carrots, and
radish, and seaweed, and bean sprouts, and cabbage, and some things I'm not sure about...With hot rice and chili sauce underneath. It's pretty much awesome.

This is...well, I don't know what this is.
It's soup, doesn't taste like anything, and
it looks to have some sort of leafy thing
in the bottom, which i didn't eat.

I'm beginning to doubt my Korean "thank you." I haven't heard anyone say it in a while, and it makes me wonder if I haven't switched around a couple of the syllables...

Shop-keeper: Have a nice day!
Me: My boogers wear pants!
Shop-keeper: ...

Chapter 2: "Don't come near me or I'll hit you with my toilet papers."

My kitchen-area!!



My unreasonably large bed, but eh, if it were any smaller, the room would look weird :-)



Lol, still haven't unpacked.



View from my laundry room :-D


Monday...the beginning of my first full week of classes. My Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are pretty long, with 7 classes total. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have 6 classes. Today went fairly well, except some of the students go really fast and work ahead when they finish the exercise, and others just sit there....and do nothing, even when I tell them to do the exercise. If anybody acts up, I can tell on them to the Korean teachers, who are allowed to hit the kids with sticks (and do, with some frequency I am told, haha).

I have on class of kids who are a bit older, and judging by the level of English they are working on in their textbooks, they should be quite adept, but every time I ask them to do something, they give me these deadpan stares and start talking in Korean -_- I let them, because I can tell they're studious, and aren't just chatting it up, but still, I have to wonder...

The window in my bathroom is broken, so it's always cracked and letting in cold air. It's a great little room to drop your pants in. The toilet is dirty with....I don't know what, but I'm not sitting on it, kthnx.

This past Saturday I went to a huge market, and I want to go back. It was huge, and there were dead pheasants and maggots, neither of which I have attempted to eat yet. Or plan to.

Speaking of food, I've outsmarted my kitchen, and am now able to feed myself in the likely event I am not eating out with the other teachers. I'm also attempting to learn how to order take-out. At about $2 a pop, takeout is something I think I will utulize very often here.

This evening I bought myself toilet paper. It was huge, because they only had 24-roll packs. I prolly won't need to buy any more for the next six months. It was a little embarrassing, walking down the street with a pack of toilet paper bigger than some of the children I teach.

Chapter 1: "Everyone stare at the white girl!!"

Hello! Well, most people who read this at first probably already know me, but I hope to join some communities. Sorry about my layout, I'll fix it over time, but I just hate picking colors and formatting.

To anyone who doesn't know me, my name is Jo, and I've been living in Korea for a week now. This blog is pretty much going to be limited to just my time here, I think; I have an LJ account as well, but that one is a bit more personal.

I'm very excited to be here! I'm having a little culture shock, but not the bad kind. More like the kind where everything is eye-catching, even the most mundane stuff. I came over by myself, and I don't know anyone here except for the other foreign teachers at the school where I work. I know almost no Korean, but I'm hoping to change that very soon. As usual when I move to a new place, I'm trying to be open-minded, and I haven't been disappointed. I'm obsessed with the spicy food and how nice people seem to be, despite the staring, which doesn't really bother me anyways ;-)

This isn't the first time I've lived in a foreign country, but doing things on my own still makes me a little nervous. This afternoon I ran out of food, thus necessitating a trip to the mini-market down the street. This is only the second time I've ventured out on my own to buy something, and the first time to go to this particular store. I've only just gotten a handle on the currency too. The people at the counter were very very nice, although the lady did not speak any English, and the man spoke only a little. I bought some chili paste, and he warned me that it was spicy :-D I love the chili seasoning here.

To celebrate my successful trip to the market, I went on to Dunkin' Donuts to buy myself a reward :-) There I learned the Korean word for "to-go"......which I think I have forgotten now. It's taken me this whole week to learn the Korean word for "thank you." Not nearly as easy as the German word for thank-you.

I think I'm really going to like the school where I teach. The curriculum is the most confusing thing I think I've ever had to wrap my brain around, but the kids are friggin adorable. I heard somewhere that it's not a sign of affection to pat children on the head in Korea, like it is in America, more like it's condescending here. That is very unfortunate, because I just want to give all of them little noogies. A few of the kids are difficult, but most are very well-trained. I just have to keep them all in plain view -_-

I'm hoping to learn all their names soon, and luckily, they've all picked out English names for our convenience and their entertainment. Most are fairly normal, some are odder, which makes me wonder where they heard them, and how English names sound to people who only think and hear Korean.

My apartment is okay. I'm a bit scared of the toilet, and the room is very cold and sterile, since the teacher who lived here before me nicked most of the odds and ends accumulated over the years. Charming. I'm looking forward to the summer, although I've been warned that it's pretty gross. Maybe I'll get some mosquito netting and hang it over my bed.

I'll post pics and videos soon.