Chapter 22: "The Self-Inflicted Stick"

I've probably already mentioned the "stick" that Korean teachers use to punish the children who misbehave. It looks kind of painful. Fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately) foreign teachers aren't allowed to use it. But today I've realized I don't need to, because I can give them the Stick with my mind.


Well, not really. But apparently if I glare at a misbehaving student long enough, he will actually hit himself.

Today I had one of my worst classes, a class of kids probably about 12 years old. The girls behave well, but the boys are insane. And the bad part is, half the time I'm laughing so hard at their antics that I can't make them do anything. I know, it encourages them. I mean, what do you do when you ask them to say a word that begins with the letter "d" and they all yell out "DONG!!!" (Korean word for sh*t)

Anyways, they were flinging imaginary poo, eating imaginary strings of snot, and barfing imaginary barf all over themselves in class, and I just needed their attention. So I yelled their names and glared at them....didn't know how long I'd be able to hold it, but I guess I glared long enough, because they all grew quiet, bowed, said "sorry, teacher" and hit themselves over the head.




Eh, whatever works, right?


I should mention one boy in particular though. They had managed to somewhat settle down, but one boy at the end of the table was still playing with his imaginary poo, reaching under himself and pulling out handfuls of whatever. So I wrote his name on the board. He protested of course, although his line of defense was my downfall: "NO TEACHER NO!!! (you'd think I was going to tell his parents or something) I wasn't throwing, I was putting it in!!!" His comrades in arms, the other boys, agreed. "Yes Teacher!! He wasn't throwing, he was putting it back in!!!"


I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.
I will not laugh at my students and their imaginary excrement.