Chapter 29: "Humor from the Toilet"

Nothing makes better conversation in English class than trying to pantomime various bathroom activities, for lack of the correct English word. Of course very few of my students know what the actual words are in English, but that doesn't stop them from trying to share with me. As I've mentioned before, one of my second-grade aged classes loves to play the who-farted game, which is demonstrated by clapping your hand over your nose and mouth and gazing disparagingly at your neighbor, who then shakes their head and points across the table at someone else, pleading "Teacher!" as if I can actually do something about it.

Last week in one of my more advanced classes, one boy was missing, even though his stuff was still in his chair. I asked where he was, and the rest of the class (all girls) said he was in the bathroom. Then one proceeded to stand and do a pose that I have dubbed the "Crapé Grandé" and if you saw it you would know why. ALL my students do this pose when referring to going to the bathroom, and you can try this at home in front of a mirror as well to get the full picture. First, bend your knees and lean forward slightly, like you are skiing down a hill. Bend your arms as well. Next, clench your fists and stomach muscles. Finally, scrunch up your face and eyes and grit your teeth visibly in the most painful-looking grimace that you can muster. Grunting a bit helps. Voila! And yes, I do have fourteen-year-olds doing this pose as much as the six-year-olds do it, if not more.

Anyway, as enthusiastic as these girls were in explaining where the poor boy was, it seemed as if this crapé was more grandé than the usual. So I simply shrugged and said, "Well, sometimes these things just take a long time."

They all thought that this was absolutely hilarious. Class kind of stopped for about five minutes while they regained their composure. But we all know that the humor of a joke is increased by approximately 84% when it is understood in a language you are not yet fluent in.

Today in one of my classes, I brought my dictionary to class, and one boy took it and spent the classtime trying to get me to inadvertently say dirty Korean words by pointing them out amongst regular Korean words (I can read Korean letters, just don't understand them), or get me to say dirty English words by asking for meanings and "pronunciation."

Finally, on a not-bathroom subject, here is a fun trick I played on some of my middle school students today. Please note: a) they know my Korean is horrible if not non-existent and b) "piyonte choujil" means "perverted freak."

Two boys: *Koreanmuttermutterlaughjokemuttermutterpiyontechoujillaugh*
Joanna-Teacher: *knows what piyonte choujil means* "Ah! Piyonte Choujil! Is that your Korean name?"
Boy 1: "Uh, no...."
Boy 2: *dies laughing*
Girl: *laughs as well*
Joanna-Teacher: *said innocently* "Piyonte choujil? Can I call you by your Korean name, Piyonte?"
Boy 1: "Not my name." *headdesk*
Boy 2 and Girl: *incurable giggles*
Boy 1: *motions death threat to Boy 2*
Joanna-Teacher: "Ok Piyonte Choujil! It's a nice name!"

Yes, so if you like to be cruel to your students by feigning foreigner ignorance, that's one way to do it.

LASTLY: Some ridiculousness for you. (It's a link, mom.)