Chapter 56: "Stupid Half-pint Kleptos"

I'm pissed off. And I shall tell you why.

A little over a month ago, I bought a really cool (and expensive) mechanical pencil. It had one of those squishy grips on it, was really svelte-looking. And it was the equivalent of 7 USD. I had it for about 4 days, then when I was teaching a class of 1st-graders, it mysteriously disappeared. I looked everywhere, but I was almost positive I lost it in that particular class. I decided to not believe someone took it, and just chalked it up to my absent-mindedness.

Yesterday I bought the same brand of pencil, but an even better color!! It was so cool, and I was enjoyed it for one full class today, before I went to that class of 1st-graders. Something in the back of my mind told me, if you're not careful, one of these kids will nick your pencil. And I was careful too. But I slipped and turned around for a minute to write on the board...

You can see where this is going.

I even thought in my head, "Crap!! You forgot about your pencil!! Quick, get it!!" But it was too late. The pencil was gone. We looked everywhere. I offered two stickers (a decent price for a 1st-grader, especially when I usually don't give stickers) for its return, but it was no good. Then, at the end of class, I was feeling generous, and I said I'd give 4 stickers if they mysteriously found it at home in their bag. I have them again on Wednesday, and if somebody doesn't give it back, I'm upping the hostage fund. It kind of grates on me to reward a thief, but at this point, I'm positive one of those little buggers has my pimp pencil. Kids these age don't even use mechanical pencils!!! They have regular pencils!!

So far I've wasted fourteen bucks, supplying some -expletive deleted- with high-end writing utensils. I know they're still young, but I hope they are discovered soon, and subsequently smote by the fierce and mighty backhand of their ajuma*.

On a brighter note, I am now going to teach you the Korean Student way of eating ramen, or as they say in Korean, "ramyeon."

1. Go buy a single package of ramen from the corner shop. Extra spicy is nice.
2. Don't open the package, but smash it all up. Throw it, step on it, etc. The goal is to break the noodles into very small pieces.
3. Open it up, and retrieve the powder package. Open the powder package and pour it in.
4. Hold the open end of the bag tightly shut, and shake vigorously, until all the powder is mixed in.
5. Eat and enjoy!! If it's extra-spicy, the teacher will let you leave class to get some water.

*Ajuma= older Korean woman, usually above 30-40 years old and married. I'm not sure if I'm spelling it right.