Chapter 32: "The Departure of Vacant Girl"

When I first started teaching waaaaay back in February, I had a class with a bunch of little girls and one little boy. This was just a regular reading class, no huge deal, and the kids were cute, maybe seven years old or so. But one of the girls drove me crazy because she was so completely vacant. I spoke as slowly and simply as I could, I asked the other girls to translate to her in case she didn't understand, I gave her more attention than anyone else, but there was just nobody home. Thus I named her (in my head) Vacant Girl. I may have mentioned her before. She would just sit and space out while we were doing an exercise. Even if I said her name and pointed to the page and said "do" she wouldn't move an inch until I physically put a pencil in her hand.

The only thing she'd get into, that I recall, in that class were the drawing exercises. For a seven year old, she had mad art skillz. I always let my kids draw in class when they're killing time between exercises, unless a teacher tells me not to. But I digress.

Vacant Girl moved to a new class with the schedule change, and for some reason, although she was still vacant, it wasn't a lack-of-intelligence type of vacant. She was just spaced out, and I can appreciate that, since I'm not even home half the time either. She showed she could actually keep up in class and understand things, and as the term went on, she really improved, until she was nearly at the top of the class with her test scores. And there are some clever little buggers in that class, let me tell you. I announced when she scored the best, because I wanted her and the rest of the class to see that the two smartest kids wouldn't have the top scores every week. And I wanted her to be proud of herself, maybe speak up a bit more in class.

However, a few weeks ago she stopped coming to class. Since this is just a private English school, not the school the kids go to every day, you never know why the kids don't come. I figured regular school got in the way, or there was some other schedule change for her, so it wasn't a huge deal. But the other day I asked the Korean head teacher where she was, and the teacher said she didn't want to come back because the other kids made fun of her and didn't like her.

I hadn't noticed it during class, but thinking back on it, I guess I can see how it happened. I don't think the kids picked on her for being smart (like I said, the wheel was spinning, but the hamster had, uh, stepped out), and I don't think they were mean to her because she was dumb. I think she was possibly just an easy target. A classmate called her fat once, which I was having absolutely none of. She was usually the brunt of the who-farted game, which only went on as long as I let them be distracted. So I don't feel guilty for not stopping anything really. But I am a bit sad that she bailed, since I was really getting impressed with her work. But I can say from personal and second-hand experience that being smart is a poor substitute for being liked.

Chapter 31: "Fun From the Tube"

A lot of times the other foreign teachers and I chuckle at how effeminate some Korean guys are. This isn't meant to generalize all Korean guys, or to say that somethings wrong with it, but it's a completely different culture, and here it is A-okay, nay, encouraged for guys to do things like wear matching outfits/lingerie with their girlfriends, tout cutsey cell-phone charms, etc.

That being said, this is a commercial that runs here ALL THE TIME. The two guys in it are from a famous pop band. I don't know if they're just putting out as a joke or what, but something about it just makes me laugh my head off every time it comes on.


CLICK ME!!

Chapter 30: "Bizarro World!!"

Ok, this has nothing to do with life here, but I just read an aol article that announced Dallas/Ft. Worth as being in the top 5 cities with the nicest drivers. What kind of bizarro world replaced my beautiful home while I've been away?!?!

Here's the article.

Chapter 29: "Humor from the Toilet"

Nothing makes better conversation in English class than trying to pantomime various bathroom activities, for lack of the correct English word. Of course very few of my students know what the actual words are in English, but that doesn't stop them from trying to share with me. As I've mentioned before, one of my second-grade aged classes loves to play the who-farted game, which is demonstrated by clapping your hand over your nose and mouth and gazing disparagingly at your neighbor, who then shakes their head and points across the table at someone else, pleading "Teacher!" as if I can actually do something about it.

Last week in one of my more advanced classes, one boy was missing, even though his stuff was still in his chair. I asked where he was, and the rest of the class (all girls) said he was in the bathroom. Then one proceeded to stand and do a pose that I have dubbed the "Crapé Grandé" and if you saw it you would know why. ALL my students do this pose when referring to going to the bathroom, and you can try this at home in front of a mirror as well to get the full picture. First, bend your knees and lean forward slightly, like you are skiing down a hill. Bend your arms as well. Next, clench your fists and stomach muscles. Finally, scrunch up your face and eyes and grit your teeth visibly in the most painful-looking grimace that you can muster. Grunting a bit helps. Voila! And yes, I do have fourteen-year-olds doing this pose as much as the six-year-olds do it, if not more.

Anyway, as enthusiastic as these girls were in explaining where the poor boy was, it seemed as if this crapé was more grandé than the usual. So I simply shrugged and said, "Well, sometimes these things just take a long time."

They all thought that this was absolutely hilarious. Class kind of stopped for about five minutes while they regained their composure. But we all know that the humor of a joke is increased by approximately 84% when it is understood in a language you are not yet fluent in.

Today in one of my classes, I brought my dictionary to class, and one boy took it and spent the classtime trying to get me to inadvertently say dirty Korean words by pointing them out amongst regular Korean words (I can read Korean letters, just don't understand them), or get me to say dirty English words by asking for meanings and "pronunciation."

Finally, on a not-bathroom subject, here is a fun trick I played on some of my middle school students today. Please note: a) they know my Korean is horrible if not non-existent and b) "piyonte choujil" means "perverted freak."

Two boys: *Koreanmuttermutterlaughjokemuttermutterpiyontechoujillaugh*
Joanna-Teacher: *knows what piyonte choujil means* "Ah! Piyonte Choujil! Is that your Korean name?"
Boy 1: "Uh, no...."
Boy 2: *dies laughing*
Girl: *laughs as well*
Joanna-Teacher: *said innocently* "Piyonte choujil? Can I call you by your Korean name, Piyonte?"
Boy 1: "Not my name." *headdesk*
Boy 2 and Girl: *incurable giggles*
Boy 1: *motions death threat to Boy 2*
Joanna-Teacher: "Ok Piyonte Choujil! It's a nice name!"

Yes, so if you like to be cruel to your students by feigning foreigner ignorance, that's one way to do it.

LASTLY: Some ridiculousness for you. (It's a link, mom.)

Chapter 28: "The Hazards"

Here's a funny and dreadfully true video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svE7b-hdgnE

Daegu is no different than Seoul ;_;



5/8 Edit:

Sorry y'al, how bout I make that a hyperlink for you?

Tada!!

Chapter 27: "The Horsemen Cometh"

Jo cooked, and thus it was seen as a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

You might think I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you don't know my eating and cooking habits. Tonight I cooked Korean pancakes, which is a sort of pancake batter mixed with various vegetables, kimchi, whatever blows your hair back. It's not sweet, it's a regular meal sort of food.

Big whup, you say. Oh, you have no idea. I'm so proud of myself for not even burning down my apartment or poisoning myself!!!

First, you should know that I am known in some parts as Princess Pickypants. I'm not picky about quality in food really, but I generally will not eat anything that is green or tastes like outdoors, with the exception of the starchy vegetables. So you might see how moving here might have been quite the culinary transition for me. I pretty much turned off the picky switch in my head, and will eat most vegetables now except for squash, tomatoes, and onions. (Nobody get excited, the picky switch is coming back on when I go back.) Hey, a girl's gotta eat, right?

Second, you should know that I can't cook well. I can bake and boil and toast things, but I have a slightly unhealthy fear of the stove top and frying pan. I can barely cook some chicken, and I have most certainly never made a pancake of any sort until tonight.

But all that we know as normal and predictable has been turned on its head this evening, when not only did I approach my gas range with something besides a pot and a package of instant ramen, but I did it with multiple ingredients and a skillet. *readers all fall off chairs*

And I used green vegetables!! *readers commence to have heart attacks*

And I flipped the pancakes several times without flinging them elsewhere!! *Random crop circles appear in South Korea*

Most shockingly......
I did it all without directions because I can't read Korean!! *Internet implodes and ceases to exist from sheer incredulity of singular blog entry*

Anyways, they were good. It was potato and leek-grass-things, and they turned out almost perfect. Well, they were perfect, but the ones that are served in the restaurants are the size of pizzas, and really thin. Mine were kind of thick. Who cares. They taste like victory to me ^.^

Chapter 26: "They Multiply"

I picked this color print because it looks dreadful with the purple, doesn't it?

So, the infamous class of very smart and hyper boys (and one girl) has just expanded. The new boy seems to be quiet and friendly and every bit as competent as the other kids. This is extremely refreshing to me, because some parents seem to think that pushing to get their kids into a harder class will make their children smarter.....This often results in a class full of children on one level, with a few of them holding everyone back, because the teacher has to guide them along personally and give them extra help.

I have another class that did have seven kids in it, all about 7 years old, and now there are 9 students in it. It's like a madhouse. I had just started getting the hang of controlling them by offering candy to the students who behaved....but now it's a zoo. It's a listening class, but half the time is spent getting them to all be quiet. Lucky me, I've had a chest cold for the past two weeks, so I can't yell any louder than a regular indoor voice T_T

Also, one of the new boys' name is Tom, but when I say "Tom" all the little students say "No, teacher, it's Tahm!!" I tried to pronounce it like that, but I just sound like I'm from Wisconsin or Boston or something. Try it, see how goofy you sound.